


One bad day is all you need to become insane

by godlessAdversary



Series: Acceptance AU [14]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dirk has OCD, F/F, F/M, Gamzee is a psychopath, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Roxy has depression, The Killing Joke references, Trans Kanaya Maryam, Trans Karkat Vantas, Vriska has problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-13 09:09:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7971229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godlessAdversary/pseuds/godlessAdversary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roxy enters the Skaia Mental Institute to deal with her problems, and she falls in love with a cute white haired girl.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Skaia mental institute, Maple Valley, Washington.

Roxy’s POV:

“Are you sure you are ready for this?” Your cousin Rose asks.

“I am sure, Rose. I need help seriously.”

You enter the sliding doors of the ominous building, and even the calming background music doesn’t stop that feeling of dread.

“If you need anything, call me!”

You wave your arm back at Rose and continue with your journey into healing your mind.

 

At the main hall.

“Good afternoon to everyone.” Says a woman with a white coat. “I am Dr. Tenenbaum, and I am your group therapist. I would like to start this meeting with everyone introducing themselves. You don’t need to say why you are here, just a presentation is enough to start.”

Everyone seems uncomfortable, and there doesn’t seem to be anyone brave enough to say their names either. Fuck it.

“I am Roxy Lalonde,” You stand up and look at everyone around. Then, you continue speaking. “and I am a recovering alcoholic, have relationship problems, and I suffer depression.”

“I am Dirk Strider.” A guy with anime shades that is your best friend speaks up and everyone turns their attention to him. “I have OCD and talk to myself a lot to the point of having a personality disorder.”

The shades guy looks at you and gives you a smile.

“I am Vriska, and I am here because I can’t live with myself anymore.” The girl with braids and glasses is crying. The short haired girl next to her pats her back. “I just feel the need to kill myself!”

“It’s okay, Vriska.” You think her friend isn’t a patient but just someone that is here to support her.

“I am Karkat, and I don’t know why I am here.”

The short haired girl glares at him.

“Ok, I have anger issues… and I kind of kicked the ass of professor. However, he is an asshole, so I was justified.”

After a few presentations, someone enters the room and everyone gets quiet. There is some emotional tension as the stranger approaches, and the angry boy and the short haired girl look with fury in their eyes.

“Oh, you must be the person that registered at last moment.” The therapist is the only person in that room that isn’t afraid or angry at the stranger. “Please take a seat.”

He takes a chair and walks into the center of the group with the intention of getting attention. You aren’t someone that judges by the appearance of a person, but this guy is disgusting. He has messy hair, a dirty chair that has stains, some pants that resemble those of a clown, and his face has three scars that look like something done by Wolverine.

“This is a good ensemble of motherfuckers, doc.”

“Please sit, Mr…”

“Makara, Gamzee Makara.” He sits in the opposite direction of where people usually sit, and gives the doctor a big creepy smile. “I have done some regretful decisions in my life, sister; I am really sorry and I want to be friends with everyone again.”

“You wish.” The angry boy scoffs.

“I know I know. I did wrong. But it is fine. Everyone is just one motherfucking day of becoming insane… but what if everyone is one day away from becoming sane too?”

The group therapy was a bit tense with the presence of the clown, but you tried your best to stay positive and do what was needed.

 

At the cafeteria.

“It was brave what you did back there.” Dirk says and sits next to you. “I am glad you are making an effort.”

“I am glad you are here too, Dirk. Not about you having issues, but because I need a friend to talk about”

You look at your soup and take a deep breath.

“I want to apologize for what I did. I shouldn’t have kissed you in front of your boyfriend.”

There is an awkward silence, and both of you try to break it, but there is too much tension.

“He isn’t my boyfriend anymore. It wasn’t what you did what made him go away; it was my clinginess and obsession with him. I pushed him away and ruined his life.

“I am sorry.”

“This kind of stuff happens, and this is why I am here to get my shit figured out. I am still working for the MIT through my laptop, but recovery is a priority for myself.”

“I understand. I have to work on some programming homeworks that I requested from my professor in order to don’t get behind.”

It feels good to talk about normal stuff without romance and all the drama that made you feel depressed. Friendship fills you with DETERMINATION.


	2. Roxy's recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy meets Callie, and both start a wonderful relationship.

Roxy’s POV:

“And then I threw up in Janey’s purse.”

The psychiatrist is taking notes while you look at the roof with a feeling of uncertainty.

“Ms. Lalonde, what I understand is that your alcoholism is a way to cope with the way your friends behave around you. You are under the stress of helping them and not getting any gratitude, and that is what makes you seek a way to numb the pain.”

“They aren’t that bad. Janey is my bestie, and I would do anything for her…”

 

_Months ago._

_“Janey, do you think that I could go out with Jake now that he broke with Dirk?”_

_“What?! Are you insane?!”_

_“I am just kidding, Jan…”_

_“I liked you better when you where drunk.”_

 

Today.

“Oh shit.”

 

After therapy, you went to the cafeteria and sit along with Dirk and a few of the other patients. The angry dude is funny, but the girl with blue lipstick is a bit creepy.

“And this is why you shouldn’t make Kanaya angry.”

“You deserved that punch in the face, Serket.”

It is a bit relaxing here with the background music and the bright colors used for decoration, and the food isn’t that bad.

“You won’t catch me alive, motherfuckers!”

The guy with messy hair and scars in his face enters the place riding a wheel chair, and two nurses are chasing him.

“What is wrong with that guy?” you ask your friends.

“Everything.” Answers that grumpy guy. “He is insane in every sense of the word, and he is a worse asshole than Serket here.”

“Hey!”

While your friends are discussing who is a more annoying asshole, you are distracted by someone entering the place. She seems like a patient, and is sitting alone in an empty table.

“I should greet the new girl.”

“Lalonde are you crazy?” Vriska asks. “I mean, more crazy than what is required to be here. That girl could be a psycho for all we know.”

“That is a bit hypocritical” says Dirk. “Anyway, you should go if you think it is right, Rolal.”

You stand up and walk towards the white haired girl that is looking absently at the motivational posters.

“Hello, my name is Roxy.”

“H-hi. I… I am Callie.”

She is looking at her feet nervously and there ia distinguishable blush in her face.

“I-I am sorry, I am bad at interacting with other people. That is why I am here.”

“Don’t worry, everyone here has problems too.”

You and Callie hit it off after a few days of chatting and some drawing sessions at the recreational center. Callie comes from an abusive home and had to escape after years of cruelty from her father and her brother. She is really good at art, but not a professional, and some of her drawings have been converted to posters for the mental institution.

“That is a really good angel, Callie.” You say to your friend as she is painting a wall of the building.

“I am getting paid for painting new murals since Madame Murel asked for more money than what can be afforded. I just hope that my work can be as good as those multicultural paintings she does.”

“You are already a great artist in my opinion, Callie.”

During those few months, Callie was a good help in your path to recovery, and you helped her get out of her comfort zone and make new friends. However, there where times when she talked with Karkat and Vriska more than with you. It seems like Karkat was giving her advice on something, but you couldn’t understand what… until a weekend night when you two started making out.

“I love you Callie.” You say while you tangle your tongue with her.

“I-I… I love you too!”

You don’t care about the difference in heights, you want to make love to this tiny lady. Just as you remove your shirt, Callie squeals and moves away from you.

“Callie, what is wrong?”

“I-I can’t… I can’t do this.”

She covers herself with the blanket of the bed where you two are sitting, and starts crying.

“I love you Roxy, but I don’t find it appealing to… to have sex.”

“It is okay if you don’t want to be that intimate, Callie. We can just cuddle if you want.”

“Roxy… I have something to tell you… I… I am not a girl!”

Callie unzips her pants and shows you her underwear.

“Wow... So, are you trans?”

“I don’t know.” Callie is tearing a bit. “I was born as an intersex person and I am still exploring my identity after years of being treated as a freak by my family.”

You hug Callie and pat her back.

“Everything is okay, Callie. All that matters is that you are happy.”

 

After getting out of the institution, you and Callie exchanged numbers and went separate ways in your careers before reuniting again.

 

Today.

Salt Lake City, Utah.

“Callie, this wasn’t supposed to happen in our trip to John and Vriska’s wedding!”

“You told me we could get to explore touristic attractions in the way to Seattle.”

“Not a Mormon wedding!”

The strange thing isn’t the fact that you are surrounded by stepford smilers, but the fact that this is a group of lesbian Mormons and there are three women going to marry each other.

“Hmm, I thought Mormons were sexists.” You say.

“We became a different cult after President Obama legalized gay marriage.” Says a woman in front of you. “Now we just make underground polyamorous weddings.”

You and Callie are a bit crazy, but just enough to have some fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be about Dirk.


	3. Dirk and Hal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk suffers from OCD and has symptoms of schizophrenia.

Dirk’s POV:

Why do you have to put the clock alarm so early?

“It is a new day.”

No shit, genius. You could sleep more and think about your favorite Jake fantasies to jerk off in bed, instead of preparing for another day at therapy. Damn it, you are already in the shower.

“Three, two, one, kill shot!”

God dammit, Dirk! Are you seriously singing the opening of One Punch Man? Your neighbor next door is probably going to be pissed.

“Stop singing, you weeaboo!”

Thank you short angry guy. That guy has more balls then you, and he has no literal balls. C’mon pal, we can go somewhere else. There is a sex shop in downtown that we can…

_I am trying to be a rational person, dude. I have responsibilities to attend, and Roxy is waiting for me._

 

After dressing up and getting your hair ready, you walk to the group therapy room, and Roxy is waving at you. That blonde is so clingy even after you broke her heart. Pathetic.

_She is my best friend, asshole._

“Mr. Strider, it is good that you can join us.” Says the doctor. “Would you like to talk about recent advances in your recovery?”

You should lie to them. Tell them that you are feeling okay.

“I still feel like a mess.” Dammit. “My intrusive thoughts have been strong lately.”

“Dirk, I know it is hard, but you can only fight those thoughts if you stop fighting.”

She is at it again. Blah blah blah let the thoughts flow and ignore them. Seriously, she doesn’t know what it is to have a heavy cloud inside your head. You could just run to the top floor and jump, ending with your existence right now.

“Dirk.”

What is she doing? Why is she watching you with those pink eyes? Doesn’t she know that you are a threat to everyone around you?

_I am not a threat to anyone._

Yes you are. You are a threat to her, to Jake, to Jane, to Callie, and to Dave. That is right, you can end up becoming like Bro and hurt people for fun.

_I will just ignore you. I want to hang out with my friends._

Yeah, leave me here in the dark corners of your mind. Talk about your feelings with a group of people as insane as you, laugh at one of Roxy’s corny jokes, analyze the actions of that blue lipstick girl, watch animes and swallow all the Sertraline you can. You can’t get away from who you are. I am you and you are me, and one day you will slip off and harm everyone…

_Thank science for the creation of antidepressants. Now I will continue reading One Punch Man where I left._


	4. Vriska has serious problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska has a dark past.

Vriska’s POV:

Maple Valley, Washington.

_“I am sorry, Fishka,but I don’t really love you.”_

_“Meenah, wait!”_

 

“Don’t leave me behind!”

It hurts.

 

“ _I am sorry, but you are dangerous to be around.”_

_“John, please listen!”_

“You were my best friend!”

It hurts too much.

 

_“All I have to say is that I hate you!”_

_“Just now you are manning up, toreadork?!”_

“You coward!”

You want to stop feeling this pain.

 

_“I have to make my own life.”_

_“But we are sisters!”_

_“See you soon, Vriska.”_

“Take me with you!”

“Fresca, wake up!”

 

You jump out of your bed screaming and waving your arms around. There is sweat wetting your shirt, and there are tears forming in your eyes.

“Were you having a nightmare, sweet heart?” asks Roxy.

You continue to sob and cover your face with a pillow.

“It’s okay. Let everything out.”

She hugs you while you try to empty your tear ducts through constant crying. After getting almost dry of tears, your nose keeps the job of expressing your sadness.

“I… I need a new pillow.”

“I will lend you mine tonight.”

 

 

A year ago.

_“Ms. Serket, you have been a really bad student.” Scratch says while waking around you. “That is why I find it appropriate to punish you for your recent deeds.”_

_Your head is spinning around and your sight isn’t working properly. Did he drugged you? You can’t move your arms._

_“Vandalism, drug consumption, bringing alcohol to the classroom, bullying a crippled kid, lying to your friends… making out with a girl on public sight.”_

_You really want to punch his head right now. Funny, his head looks like a white orb._

_“Don’t worry, this will be over soon and you will feel nothing.”_

_“STOP RIGHT THERE, ALBINO PERVERT!”_

_You see a shadow tackle the white blur, and it is followed by what looks like an angel._

_“Oh my god, Vriska! Are you okay?!”_

_“Are you the holy mother?”_

_She unties your arms and carries you with her strong arms. It feels like you have been saved._

Today.

“And that is basically how I decided to get help.”

Everyone there, except Karkat, is speechless at your dark story.

“Yeah, I messed up things with my friends, and I want to make amends. I don’t know, I just want to stop being a bitch to everyone.”

 

It took some time, but your rehabilitation was a success. You are still kind of a bitch, but in a good way. You don’t know how will life turn out to you, but you hope you can find love again.

 

Today (as in chronologically the recent date in this AU).

“Vriska, are you sure you want me to do this?”

“Just get out of the bathroom already!”

John shyly walks out and is wearing a nice blue dress with a set of panty and stockings.

“Hot damn, John. You look like a nice petite girl.”

“I still feel weird wearing feminine clothing. Can we please don’t proceed with the next part?”

“Nope.”

You push John to the bed and grab his ass.

“If I like being on the receiving end, you are gonna like this too, John.”

“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”


	5. Karkat's anger problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat has learned to express his rage through creative swears.

Karkat’s POV:

You are again at another pointless therapy where this doctor that resembles Nostalgia Critic is taking notes about you. He probably stopped counting the amount of curses you have said during the hour of the session.

“All I am saying is that if you are going to fuck shit up, better just be honest about it and fix your mistakes instead of asking where you start to pile all that shit before it smashed you and everyone else like an avalanche of pestilence and bad choices.”

“That is an interesting opinion, Mr. Vantas.”

“Seriously doc, what is wrong with me? Is my rage a threat to other people, or am I just the regular American asshole.”

“Mr. Vantas, to be honest, you are far away from being a dangerous person.”

“Then why am I still coming here?”

He is a professional, so he must have a good explanation for your problem.

“You swear a lot.”

“That’s it?! I am just here because I swear a fucking lot?! That is bullshit!”

 

_Age 3:_

_“Katrina, you look so adorable with that dress!”_

_“I don’t want dress, I want pants!”_

_“Dear sister, gender roles establish that…”_

_You take off the dress and do a tantrum in the floor._

_Age 7:_

_“Sollux, you cheated!”_

_“This is Warhammer 40K, not DnD, KK.” Says Sollux._

_“Ignore her, Sol. Girls don’t know how to play strategic tabletop games.” Says Eridan._

_“Tell that to my face, poop eater!”_

_Age 10:_

_“You got detention again, girl?” asks your adoptive father._

_“You bet I did, old man.”_

_You had an argument with Caliborn to prove that the Midnight Crew is better than the Felt, and it ended in a swearing storm so annoying that the teacher had to stop you two._

_He takes off from your hair the hat you borrowed._

_“If you were a boy I would let this pass, but I must put you some limits little miss. Only real men can fight.”_

_“Whatever, geezer.”_

_Age 15:_

_“I am sorry Karkat, but I am not a homosexual.”_

_“What the fuck?!”_

_Age 16:_

_“Hey everyone, Maryam isn’t a real woman!”_

_Everyone at the cafeteriais looking at Kanaya with curiosity or repulsion, and you can’t stand that._

_“Everyone, Natalia is a clitsucking whore!”_

_That girl punched you, but Kanaya bet the shit out of her. Trans people have to help each other._

_A year ago:_

_“You fucking asshole piece of shot albino rat cock sucker pervert snake douchebag charlatan monster motherfucker freak creep pile of shit…”_

_“Karkat, Scratch is already unconscious.” Says Kanaya._

_This morning:_

_“Piece of shit garbage can dick dudebro waste of space humonguous bastard big fucking jerkass abomination rotten brain scumbag son of a whore evil capitalistic tyrant of hell spineless coward demented maniac!”_

_“We all know Donald Trump is an asshole, “says Dr. Tenenbaum. “but you can’t interrupt the group therapy each time you are enraged by the news.”_


	6. Journey to Madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why is Gamzee so insane? Did he had a bad day and became insane, or was he born insane?

Gamzee’s POV:

“So where do I begin my story? Oh yes, my childhood. It all started in a dark place where no light could enter, and where my conscience was limited by the motherfucking instincts that compose human psyche. Eventually, the alien presence of light entered the aether and took me to that wicked place we call reality. I am come to the world in blood and sorrow, and the first sound I heard was from a maternal entity calling for help in a guttural language that everyone can understand without ever understanding what it means.”

“Are you talking about…”

“I am just messing with you sis. You should have seen your face when I was being poetic about coming out of my mother’s nook. Sadly, I never met the woman; she died after giving birth to me, and it was up to the big man to take care of me. Not so much work considering he never dared to enter my room and speak to me.”

_Years ago, but not so many._

_Age 3:_

_“Dad?”_

_He must be outside the house. Why does he goes outside the house? There are toys and food here, and the television shows the same funny cartoons everyday. What can be outside of these doors?_

_“Whoa!”_

_What is thise green thing in the floor? It looks like vegetables. Agh, it doesn’t taste like vegetables. Oh what is this? Is this thing a toy? It is a bug you think. It doesn’t look as colorful as the bugs that appear in the magical box where cartoons appear. Oh, it is squishy. It feels strange to have it’s pieces spread in your palm… why isn’t it moving again? It was moving before, why isn’t it moving like it did? Oh, maybe because you moved its legs away after squeezing it. You move everything together so it can start moving again._

_“Move.”_

_It isn’t moving. IT ISN’T MOVING! Oh, another bug!_

_“Funny.”_

_It is coming out of a strange thing. Colorful wings come out of it, and then it flies away. Your brother told you about something called miracles. Is this a miracle?_

_“Miracle!”_

_Everything is so beautiful. Bugs dying, bugs changing, bugs being beautiful. Everything is a miracle._

 

Today.

“Then everything hit the fan once I got to school to meet other kids.”

 

_Age 7:_

_“Hey, retarded!”_

_A group of kids approaches you. You have being watching a snail walk through a bench all recess._

_“Wassup.”_

_One of them pushes you off from the bench._

_“Are you going to cry?”_

_“Nah. I am ok.”_

_One of them takes the innocent snail and smashes it in the ground._

_“I heard he is a fag too. Only fags wear facepaint like a clown.”_

_Why are they kicking you on the floor? Is this a game? This isn’t funny! Unless… you have to play too!_

 

Today:

“It turns out they were bullying me, and I just considered hurting them was part of the game. I did get in trouble after I broke the arm of one of them, and the principal ordered my dad to take me to therapy. However, the big man took me instead to an old colleague that worked as a high school professor. He wasn’t a good person. Doc Scratch experimented on my mind like if it was a sick game, and I kind of lost myself.”

 

_Age 16:_

_“Gamzee, calm down!” your bros shouts at you._

_“I can’t bro, I mean sis. I really can’t ignore the fact that youy have been a bitch all this motherfucking time.”_

_You rip apart her shirt, revealing some miraculous boobs that you want to touch. “Seriously, look at you, you have been hiding yourself so selfishly.”_

_“I am not a girl, I am a boy, Gamzee!” She covers hers bossom with her arms and cries. “I thought we were friends!”_

_“Bros before hoes, but you are a hoe.”_

_She just ran away. Just like Terezi did. Just like Tavros did._

Today:

I screwed up my friendship with Karbro, and now I am aware that I should have respected his boundaries as honorary guy, even if he is screwing a guy that doesn’t have any MOTHERFUCKING RESPECT for Juggalo culture. However, I must say that the day that I truly became insane was the day that I lost everything I knew from the beginning. After my brother went to live his own life with his girlfriend, I was still in that old household with our already paranoid father. He became so obsessed with keeping his business going, and feared everything that could change how things were doing, that he started being more severe. He punched my back with his knuckle brassers on two separate occasions, and I still have a scar in my chest from the time he put off a cigarrete on it. Once he snapped at me for one of my usual stonner antics, he was finally going to end me, but then…”

 

_Age 18:_

_“Motherfucking miracles!”_

_Shit really hit the fan this time. Now the Makara Mansion is one fire, and your dad is burning to a crisp. On the floor of the main room._

 

Today:

“Surprisingly, the court took well that I killed him in self defense, and nobody else got hurt in the big fire. Since then I have been consuming antidepressants, and because of my inheritance I can afford medical help, and sometimes weed. So, what do you think about my story, doctor?”

Dr. Tenenbaum is screaming, but the sock you put in her mouth is muffling her. She can undo the rope ties you did in a few hours of struggling, so better relax and continue narrating your life to the good doctor.

“After finishing this therapy, I plan to travel the world and meet new people. There is a guy named English hiring goons, and maybe I can become his main associate. I like the idea of being entrepreneurial and shit. Maybe a nice purple suit and a green tie. That will work for me. Well, my uber taxi is arriving. See you the next time I have another insanity attack.”

You live the building singing one of your favorite songs of all times:

“Rise with the moon, go to be with the sun. Early to be and you will miss out the fun. Bring your wife and trouble and they will never trouble you. Make her a member of the midnight crew! Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for keeping up with this story!


End file.
